Portland is no stranger to being a controversial symbol in national news — and we’re now in the spotlight again as Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has ramped up their activity in our city. Whether your family has or hasn’t been impacted by these operations, it’s likely that your children have heard or seen something. These may be tricky and fraught conversations, but the following tips can help smooth the way.
Check in With Yourself First
Talking about ICE can be scary, overwhelming and tense, even for grown-ups. Before talking to your child, take a moment to check in with yourself and your emotions. Make some space to take a few deep breaths, drink a glass of water or step outside (even in the rain!) so that you can feel grounded and centered. If you feel stable and safe, so will your child.
Let Your Family’s Involvement Guide Conversations
If you are a mixed-status family (where some members are citizens and some are not) your conversations with your child are going to be very different than if you are a family of U.S. citizens. If you as a parent are attending protests and involved in activism, you will also have unique concerns to address. You can find specific city of Portland resources here and here (and information is available in multiple languages).
Start the Conversation
It’s likely that your kids already know something about what’s been happening in Portland at the ICE facility — even if it’s just seeing pictures of people dressed up in inflatable costumes! Open the conversation by finding out what your child does know. Ask, “What do you know about ICE? What have you heard about the protests in Portland?” This gives you a good baseline to continue the conversation in a developmentally appropriate way without overwhelming your child with too much information.
Use Clear, Simple Language
When answering your child’s questions, be honest and reassuring. You might say something like: “ICE stands for Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Their job is supposed to be making sure that people follow immigration laws, and the government gives them the power to decide if someone is allowed to stay in our country or if they have to leave. Many people in Portland are scared and angry about this, and they are exercising their right to protest.”
Instead of telling your child not to worry, affirm whatever feelings come up and assure them that you’ll manage it as a family. Encourage questions and seek out further information together as necessary!
Share Accurate Information and Resources
Ensure that you’re getting facts from trustworthy sources, and only sharing accurate information with your child. Check out portland.gov/federal for regular updates about the situation at the ICE detention facility in Portland, and for resources to support immigrant and refugee families.
Even accurate media about ICE and the local protests can be scary or anxiety-provoking for young children. If you want to engage in the topics of immigration or protests, check out the following booklists from the Multnomah County Library: “Immigrant and Refugee Experiences” for grades K-3 and for tweens or “Talking about Activism and Protests.”